Advice, guides & articles

Blue Monday is the name usually given to the third Monday in January, which is said to be the most depressing day of the year due to a combination of post Christmas blues, cold dark nights and bills stemming from debt due to Christmas. This was apparently calculated using an equation, however the existence of Blue Monday has since been discounted as pseudoscience and therefore not accurate. There's no denying, though, that January can be a tough month to get through. November and December are usually spent building up to the festive period, after which we all tend to feel a little flat. Just having to get back to reality and go back to work can be enough to make most of us struggle to get out of bed, not helped by the dark, dreary mornings. No wonder our motivation levels are at their lowest this time of year.

Have you ever wondered what the difference between a funeral/death notice and a memoriam is? What about an acknowledgement? We publish many different types of notices on our site, and it can sometimes be difficult to know what the different notices are for. Death/Funeral Notice A death or funeral notice is used to announce the passing of a loved one, and to share funeral details with family and friends. Funeral notices often include the date of death, some details of the family and the funeral details. Some notices that appear under the "Deaths" section are support notices from family and friends. These do not usually include details of the funeral, only condolence messages from people who knew the deceased. Memoriam Notice A memoriam notice is used to mark the anniversary of the loss of a loved one. Sometimes these include a verse or poem, or sometimes a message from loved ones. We also publish birthday memoriams, which are used to remember a lost loved one’s birthday, and memoriams for special occasions such as Mother's Day/Father’s Day/Christmas Memoriams. Acknowledgement An acknowledgement notice is used to thank family and friends for attending a lost loved one’s funeral service, as well as thanking the Funeral Director and anyone else who helped with the service. Total donations collected can also be announced in an acknowledgement notice. Lasting Tribute A Lasting Tribute notice can be created at any time to commemorate the passing of a loved one. It’s similar to a Memoriam notice, but can be placed at any time, not just on the anniversary of the death. Our lasting tribute pages offer the perfect place for family and friends to get together and share memories of their loved one. Hopefully this explains the different types of notices we offer. Thanks for reading. Laura The Funeral Notices Team Follow Funeral Notices on social media to see when new posts are published. Facebook Twitter Instagram

The most important thing to remember about grief is that everyone experiences it differently. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, you just need to do what feels right for you. There is a large range of emotions people may feel when grieving, including anger, hopelessness, sadness, resentment. You may feel all of these things, or you might not feel any. These feelings can be constant, or they may come and go in bursts. Some people may have a delayed response to grief, feeling normal or numb at first, then start to feel the emotions later on, when they have processed the bereavement. If the person who passed away had been suffering, or if the bereaved had a complicated relationship with them, they may feel relief. This is completely natural, and the bereaved should not feel guilty or ashamed for feeling this way. It doesn't mean that they didn't care for the person who has died, or that they are a bad person. Many people ask how long it takes for grief to subside, but again this is different for everyone. There's no set time frame, and no easy fix for grief. You need to experience the grief in order to move through it. It may never go away completely - when you lose someone you love, your life may change, for example if it was someone you saw regularly. You will need to adjust your routine to learn to live without them. Many people find that their grief will resurface on significant dates such as anniversaries or birthdays, or in certain places.

Christmas can be a difficult time of year when you have lost a loved one, whether you have lost someone recently or years ago. Christmas is traditionally spent with our loved ones, so when we lose one it can leave a gaping hole in the festivities, not to mention constant memories and reminders. Here are a few ways to cope with your grief at Christmas:

The holidays can be a difficult time of year, particularly if you are grieving. If you are having suicidal thoughts, it is important that you tell someone. Don't try to struggle through the holiday period alone - there are many people you can speak to who will be able to help you. The below organisations can offer help and support if you're feeling down: Mind MindInfoline: 0300 123 3393 mind.org.uk Samaritans Call 116 123 Email jo@samaritans.org Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM) – for men Call 0800 58 58 58 – 5pm to midnight every day Visit the webchat page Papyrus – for people under 35 Call 0800 068 41 41 – Monday to Friday 10am to 10pm, weekends 2pm to 10pm, bank holidays 2pm to 5pm Text 07860 039967 Email pat@papyrus-uk.org Childline – for children and young people under 19 Call 0800 1111 – the number won't show up on your phone bill Age UK 0800 678 1602 Lines are open 8am-7pm, 365 days a year. You could also try speaking to family or friends about how you are feeling, they may be able to offer support. You can call your GP and ask for an emergency appointment, call the NHS 111 service or contact your mental health crisis team if you have one. If you are struggling with grief during the Christmas period, read our post on Coping with grief at Christmas

Whether you run, swim, cycle or choose your favourite fitness activity, set your goal and enjoy support from the RED community every step, splash and pedal of the way! Kick-start your 2020 in a positive way and raise funds for Mind so together we can be active for better mental health. RED January is a campaign set up to kick start the year in a positive way and raise funds for Mind, a mental health charity in partnership with RED January. £1.7 million has been raised for Mind since the first RED January 4 years ago. The goal is to encourage people to take part in some form of exercise every day throughout January. This aims to help people get through what can be a difficult month, as well as raising money for a good cause. It's up to you which form of exercise you choose to take part in - from running and cycling to yoga and dance, there's something to suit everyone. You can also set a goal that suits you - if that's just 10 minutes of walking a day, that still counts as exercise According to a survey taken after RED January 2019, 87% of people who took part reported feeling significantly better both physically and mentally. Research has found that regular exercise can have a positive impact on our mental health - to read more, click here. For more information or to sign yourself up, visit www.mind.org.uk/get-involved/donate-or-fundraise/take-on-an-active-challenge/run-for-mind/red-january

Time to talk day has been set up to encourage everyone to be more open about mental health and have more conversations about it, to break the stigma surrounding mental health. People with mental health issues often feel awkward or embarrassed, or even afraid to discuss their mental health with others. This can make the illness so much worse, so it’s time to break the silence and talk about our mental health. One in four people are affected by mental health issues; far more than a lot of people realise. You can take part in Time to Talk Day in many ways, including texting a friend, chatting to a colleague or even organising an event. Time to Change, who are running Time to Talk Day, are using the popular game “Would you rather?” to help break the ice this year. There are events taking place all over the country for Time to Talk Day, have a look here to see if there’s anything in your area. There are resources available on the site to help you to organise your event. Visit the site to find out more: https://www.time-to-change.org.uk/get-involved/time-talk-day

I'm a worrier, an over-thinker and usually just about function with raised anxiety day to day. I spend a disproportionate amount of my time thinking about how I can stop myself from feeling anxious and lonely and then today happened. Today, all my 'disasters' came true. From tomorrow I, like most of the country if not the world, will be working from home for an indefinite period of time. I am going to be putting myself into the one position I have fought so many mental battles to avoid. Before the panic could take hold I was ushered into a meeting to talk about mental health and homeworking which leads me onto my first tip for looking after your mental wellbeing; communication - Keep in touch with friends, family, colleagues via social media, messaging, telephone and if possible get as much face to face communication as possible. It is important to note that you are not the only person who feels this way. After talking with colleagues I quickly realised that thoughts I was trying to dismiss as irrational must be rational as other people were having them too! If you are working from home, make sure you have clear boundaries between work and home. I know myself I am tempted to use work as my 'thing' to keep busy which has always been fine in the past. Now working from home is a full time occurrence it is vital to know when work stops and downtime begins. During downtime, try not to dwell. On a positive note being at home is an opportunity to spend more time with family, have a spring clean, read more books, learn a new hobby or binge watch the next big series. Try and challenge yourself and keep your brain active. Why not learn a new hobby, take up yoga or teach yourself to do some DIY. It is said that gardening is good for the mind and soul and with spring around the corner we may have the chance to get outside and absorb some much needed vitamin D! If you are working from home make sure you take regular breaks and get outside as often as you can. Remember, we are still being encouraged to exercise. Even a stroll outdoors could do wonders for your wellbeing and mood. Avoid 24 hour news and checking your phone or social media too often . Nothing will have changed that much since you last checked and it's important to try and clear your mind to give other thoughts a chance to surface. Create a new routine. For many a lack of routine is cause for a decline in mental health. We can manage this by being prepared and creating a new routine. Get up, washed and dressed every day and have a morning, lunchtime, afternoon and evening routine in there. This is especially important if, like me, you are working from home. Treat work days as you usually would in the morning and sit down to your work station. Make sure you do something different on weekends and, this is a big thing for me to remember; open the curtains every day and welcome in a new day. You are in self isolation not hiding away, try and keep some perspective and challenge any negative thoughts before they may overwhelm you. Finally and to go back to my first tip, communicate. Keep in touch, chat, reach out for help if needed and try not to shut the world out. If you feel you need professional help, there are plenty of websites or helplines you can call, don't leave it too long to make the call for help. We are all in this together. Most of us are not used to staying home and for some people this may be their first ever feelings of anxiety or stress. Know you're not alone, none of us are and this situation, though unknown, will not last forever. I'm a worrier, but I'm not on my own, I know a lot of people who are just the same and we will be fine. Take care of yourself and support one another as best you can. Useful Contacts and Further Information: anxietyuk.org.uk mind.org.uk samaritans.org - or call 116 123 (free)

March 2020 saw the start of self-isolation week for many people, as employers roll out homeworking in a bid to curb the spread of coronavirus. If you are new to working from home it can be daunting, so we've put together a few tips to help! I know it's really easy to think 'great, I don't need to get dressed' but if there is one piece of advice I would say is the most important it would be to get up and get dressed as normal! Doing this will help you maintain some kind of routine and normality which is vital for your mental health.

Best practice for working at home:

• Establish Boundaries - work/life balance

• Get out and about as much as you can (so long as not self isolating)

• Communicate - Keep in regular contact with your colleagues. Working from home does not have to be isolating

• Take your full breaks and make sure you are away from your screen

• Make the most of your space - Try and establish a specific work area and keep it clean and tidy

• Change position regularly - If you feel any muscles starting to pull don't ignore it. Look after yourself!

Most of us have never found ourselves in this situation before and it can be frightening. Make sure you speak up if you need help and support, be it physically or mentally. We are all in the same boat and you will not be the only person feeling anxious, stressed or worried right now. Finally, it is vital you try and keep spirits up. For managers that means effective communication and contact with your team to keep up morale. For everyone else that means keeping focused on the job in hand, listening to managers and communicating with your colleagues.